100

I cant really believe I made it.

100 Posts...

Wow! I never thought I would be able to stick around for so long. With all the other blogs closing down i thought I would be gone by now too. But NAH! This is such a great great escape for me. Although I have started posting less I still feel the need to blog every now and then. So I don't think I'll be gone too soon.

So geez. The blog turned one year old the other day. It feels longer ago that I started this. So much has happened. I CAME OUT! And I kid u not when saying that creating this blog lead to the best experience of my life - without a doubt. I met someone via my blog. We met up. We fell In love. He is the love of my life...unfortunately life happened and we aren't together anymore.

Distance.

Meh. I love airports. I hate airports. I'll never forget that day I had to say goodbye to you... Some days it keeps playing over and over in my mind, I tried to be so strong, cause u were gonna be alone after u left. But as u vanished behind the corner I had a complete breakdown. People were staring at me like I was demented. I struggled to walk to the car and kinda hyperventilated for a few minutes. I remember vividly looking into the face of an older woman and seeing her eyes tear up. I'll never forget her face.

I still remember the last kiss. The tears streaming between us. I still remember the last time I touched ur hand and the last look we gave each other. I remember not being able to stop thinking about u and the smile u put on my face when u called me from the plane. Trying to fight the tears as much as u could... I love u so much.

Will I ever see you again?

It is now six months later and yut I only keep loving u more. And I know that u say I should move on. But I can't help how I feel. U have been the best thing in my life. And I would give anything to hold u again. U have been one of the best friends in my life and I will never ever ever forget what u did for me. U helped me so much as a person. U helped me grow to such an extent that I cannot describe it.

You are so beautiful to me.

I love you...

Urm there has also been a lot of other people that has played such a big role in my life. U guys mean so much to me. U are there for me when no one else is around and I love u guys for that. I learn so much from u and I'm sure I would have been way worse off if I did not have the privilege to know u all. Im gonna mention a fe people that come to my mind atm. Please do not feel offended if I leave u out cause I am in a bit of a state, so my mind isn't functioning that well. Don't worry It is happy tears >.<


Tyler, I know we aren't close or anything. But I have told u before that u were the first blog that I ever read. U were my inspiration for starting to bthis journey. Thank you so much for ur contribution.

Charlie. U vanished from the face of the earth. But I still just want to thank u for all the fun times we had. Ur such a nice guy and I hope that ur doing okay?

Tim. I know we aren't on the best of terms atm, but u have meant so so so so much too me over the past year. I hope that we will soon rekindle the friendship that means so much to I think both of us. Thank u for always being there any listening to my stupidity.

Wayner. What would we do without u? Ur the go to guy of the gay blog world. Sometimes I feel my posts are too silly to publish. But then knowing that u will leave a comment makes me do it anyway. Ur support and advice goes a long way.

AJ. Although u have left blogging world, u haven't left my heart. I love our chats and I love ur sense of humour. As u know music is my life and I love the fact that u always love to tell me that I have no taste in music. AJ FTW lolz! I miss u! Get ur butt on MSN more often. Hope all is well.

Sammy. I honestly hope I helped with the confusion u had ;-p U have been the greatest friend and have stood by me through thick and thin. U are such an inspiration to me. I want to be better. And I have u to thank for that.

NIc. U are one of the nicest guys i've met through this journey. U are so supportive and kind and fun! And u come with ur alterego! (BTW BEST LINK EVER ;-p). Ur relationship with Domi makes me filled with jealousy and hope at the same time. U make it all seem fine. U make it seems possible for all of us. I hope u stay strong!

Oliver. Oh Cupcake. What else can I say other then Waka Waka? Pretty much sums up our thang. U have to be the sweetest little thing. I hope that ur inevitable coming out will go as planned and that u snatch a hot French boy with v-neck t-shirts ;-p. And ffs! Go get a pink shirt! XD I am thinking of u and ur fam and I hope that ur dads operation will go without a hitch. And I hope ur mom learns how to close the door behind her haha! Mwah!


Also, then just a last shout out to all of my Twitter buddies. U guys make life so much more entertaining! Thanx for keeping me company in the wee hours of the morning!


I truly love being a part of this community. It is proof that it actually does get better.


As always

PEACE AND LOVE

xXx


P.S This is my actual 100th post and not the 99th seeing as I deleted a previous post. Just saying ;-p

Waiting for Godot

So Im up still. It is 5:10am as i am typing this sentence.

Slept like three hours and then I woke up. I didn't manage to get that much sleep in this year cause of work so I think my body has adjusted to shorter sleeping patterns. Meh, I'll prolly take a nice afternoon nap later. >.<

So my bother is back. He will be here for like three months. But I think it should be fine. He is a lot better than in the future. He even liked some of my projects that I did this year. Didn't think that this day would ever come lol!

I'm working on some side project that are keeping me kinda busy, but I am learning a lot so Imma do it with a smile. I have started working hard on my work for next year. The other people are all chilling over the holiday - and I will to, but in moderation. I really want to be prepared when I walk in next year. There will be no time, so I'd rather get some shit out of the way.

So it is almost Xmas. I haven't been in the Xmas mood for the past two years. I hope it changes this time. I am not religious anymore, but I just love Xmas cause it is a time of community and love. And I think that is pretty amazing!

I have decided that I will prolly do a honours degree as to complete a undergrad degree. But I really want to go to two or if I can three European countries first. I will have a 9 week break so that would be a fine time to do that, I need to. As an artist I need to experience life. And I have IRL friends in two of the countries that I want to see. Especially one person in specific. Imma try my best to make it work. Imma speak to my mother tomorrow. She promised me if I have my first degree she will fund a trip for me. Lol, I'll have to try and make some money myself, but she will have to be my primary benefactor. I have never been granted the opportunity, nay privilege, to travel and it is kinda a defining life goals.

The prospect of getting a stamp in my passport exceeds most forms of excitement I have ever felt.

Here is to making dreams reality.

Peace and love

xXx

P.S. Almost to post 100!!!

Heya!

So I found this old questionnaire on Stephan's blog. So imma do it cause I'm bored and I think there are a few of my buds who can like get something from it.


How old were you when you first realised you were gay?
Realized, acknowledge or accepted? Realized (when looking back) prolly as early as ever. Acknowledge at 15-17. Accepted after that. Now im a proud queer boy!


Do you have more gay friends or straight friends?
Well won't the facour always be in str8 people's odds? I do have a lot of gay and bi friends though.


Biggest turn on?
Well beautiful people. I study visuals for a life. i am tought to create art and beauty so I literaaly have gasped at beautiful people. I think being beautiful is a talent.

Biggest turn off?
Childishness, moaning, bigotry, prejudice


Ever been harassed due to your orientation?
Duh


Have you ever been surprised at the reaction of people who know you are gay?
Ya, in a good way


What is the worst gay stereotype?
AIDS


Ever been to a pride rally?
No, but I'm going a massive one early next year!!! :D

Do you go to gay bars?
Ya bet ur ass I do

How old were you when you first told someone you were gay?
15


Did you plan it? If so, how?
Yus I did. I was trying o get into his pants. So i kinda blurted it out. No, it didn't get me laid lol!


What made you choose that person to tell?
See above


How did you feel?
Horny lol


Have you ever been snubbed by someone after coming out to them?
No. Lucky me.


Have you come out to your family?
ya, i guess i have. Wow. Thats kewl.


Why did you come out at that point?
Cause I invited this gorgeous and amazing boy to come visit me for an extended period of time, twice, in a very short space of time. So I wanted to be more at ease with him. (BET U DIDNT KNOW THIS MUAHAHA)


Are you out at work?
Ya, mostly hey


If you’ve been outed unwillingly, who did it?
Urm, well I prolly out myself mostly. i don't mind being outed though. Sometimes i even prefer it. I have nothing to loose anymore.


What advice would you give someone wanting to come out?
Do it as soon as you can - if its safe and secure.


If you could do it all again, would you do it any differently? If so, how?
Only sooner. Always sooner. (came out at 20)

That is all for now.

Peace and love,

xXx

In responce

"I keyed on the fact that you seem to define everything about yourself using external sources and that the only thing that matters is how these external sources are pleasing you at the moment - kinda like a middle school girl bouncing between cliques!"

Thats a comment I got from my last post.

I think I agree with that. But what i don't neccesarilly agree about is the negative idea surrounding the way the statement was made. I'm not saying it is a good thing. I'm not saying it is a bad thing. It is just simply a thing.

I do define myself by "using external sources".

Why though?

Cause:


In order for me to place myself within context I have to evaluate me according to a standard. This standard being the projected norm of society - the external source. So ya I do have an obsession with labelling myself and things around me. I do not see this as obsessive or complusive. I just need to define a thing in order to understand it. In order to define something you have to describe it. Or as we say label. So yus I label.

Giving a label to things makes sense.

"the only thing that matters is how these external sources are pleasing you at the moment"

Yet again I do not see how this is a bad thing. I like feeling good. It is an intrinsic human want. I like being pleased and I get this pleasure from interacting in a positive manner with others. Look it is not that I conform to the requests of other. FFS! I am bisexual. If I wanted to conform I would have said I'm gay or straight.


Two things about that:

1) At this moment in my life I am bisexual. I don't care about ur theories. I am attracted t males and female, penis and vagina. If I do transition into a hetro or homo it will be a fantastic. if not - fantastic. All i am trying to say is that I do not conform.

Not that I think there is anything wrong with conforming. If it is a natural human tendency to conform then why do people see it in a bad light in anyway?

I liked being pleased by external sources yus. I prefer this above not being pleased by external sources. I also enjoy being positive in myself and being strong in myself. So I do evaluate myself against my own standard. Thats just it. In order to have my own standards I need something to compare standards with - in order to define my standard. Okay I hope this is making sense.


ANYWAY - enough about that (btw thanx for the comment)


Moving on:


Alcohol update:


I spoke to most of my friends about the issue. Their opinion is that i am not an full-fledged alcoholic, but that I am borderline. I do agree with this. I mean it has only very recently gotten out of hand. I do not have dependency or withdrawal symptoms. I did not drink for a week and then yesterday I had a pint of beer with my friends when we celebrated being done with second year. I ordered a second one, but then didn't drink it cause i felt i didn't need it. So I gave it to a friend thats kinda broke - did us both a favour.

Thing is, and say what u want, I do not want alcohol to intimidate me. If I don't drink I wud want to. So what I need to do it to relearn my boundaries and rid my body of the tolerance that it built up. So from now on I will only drink when the occasion suites it and lo longer at every opportunity that is presented. And I don't have to get drunk. See I kinda forgot this. So I will teach myself how to drink and remain in control. That is what life is all about. Balance.

Same thing applies when people go on diet. Say the person loves chocolate. they go on this silly diet and may NEVER EVER AGAIN eat chocolate. This is bullshit. If u feel like chocolate eat a fucking block of chocolate. Yut again keep it balanced. Don't devour a slab.

Reason for my drinking getting rough is anyway not the alcohol. I don't drink more than the people with me (student peers). And i was never a problem. What happened was i kinda started dealing with some emotional issues of late and therefor I went for escapism. But I got the wake up call I needed so I am dealing with the things now.

And I'm looking forward to in time sit by the beach with my budz and sip A sundowner with them, celebrating theis wonderful life...

P.S. My end of the year project turned out AMAZING and we got really really GREAT feedback form the panel.

I added the photos later cause I felt u deserved some hotness to look at for getting through this post. Enjoy the boyz from ONE DIRECTION <3

(Also, forgive me for typos - I was too lazy to check through the long post >.<)

Peace and love,

xXx

I'm actually a middle aged woman...

Yus. It is true.

I'm a woman.

A middle aged woman.

With a husband.

And a kid.



WTF?!



I HAVE A PENIS!!!!

BUT apparently I'm the only one that thinks so.

Okay let me start at the beginning. ATM I'm a 20 year old male. And I'm at least average looking. Though on my good days I am rather hot. Not vain. Just I work hard on my appearance mkay? I pride myself in beautiful things. I am an artist. I am a walking palette. Nway.

Well in general I have grown accustomed to like be called ma'am on the phone. My voice is rather high pitched. Not like Kurt from Glee high pitched as in singing, but rather the tone of voice is kinda light and soft. Although I can project like a mother fucker ;-p (oh the irony of that statement)

NWAY 5 times in my life it has occurred that people who are standing face to face with me have mistaken me for a woman.

First time: Bout 5 years back. I was in a restaurant. I ordered a steak. 500g. So the waiter asks: "How would u like that Mrs?" and Im like "Mrs?" And he blushes and says "Oh sorry, Miss. OMG OMG OMG MISS!

Second time: I was going though the KFC drive through. BAD BOY ME! And the woman takes my order and when I drive away she says: "Enjoy your meal Ma'am." OMG serves me right for eating junk food.

Third time: One of my gf's cousins' friends walked up to me and asked: "Are you a boy or a girl?" She is about ten.

Fourth time: This weekend. The man walked up to our camp site. I was sitting up with my cousin and my young nephew. So then he asked my cousin: "Oh this must be your wife and son". OMG WTF WTF (hence title)

Fifth time: Then aftershock came in the form of the boy that greeted me this morning when the left. He must be about 8. He ran up to me, gave me a hug and said: "Good-bye aunty".

BALLS NO MORE!

Okay so here is the thing. This DOES bother me. Meh. Androgynous? And I LOVE the look. I find it very sexy yeah. But I don't have it. Like I do look like a man. Fine I am effeminate. But there is no discrepancy as to my gender.

And no It wasn't my behaviour. Like the fourth time I was sitting by the fire reading a book. So no campness. Lol pardon the pun.

I am seriously flabbergasted....

So after that rant (see last post) I spent a few hours thinking and did some research. I came across:

The Cass Identity Model is one of the fundamental theories of gay and lesbian identity development, developed in 1979 by Vivienne Cass [1]. This model was the first[citation needed] to treat gay people as "normal" in a heterosexist society and in a climate of homophobia instead of treating homosexuality itself as a problem. Cass described a process of six stages of gay and lesbian identity development. While these stages are sequential, some people might revisit stages at different points in their lives.

The six stages are as follow:

1.1 Identity Confusion
1.2 Identity Comparison
1.3 Identity Tolerance
1.4 Identity Acceptance
1.5 Identity Pride
1.6 Identity Synthesis

I have identified in what category I fall into:

Identity Pride

In the identity pride stage, while sometimes the coming out of the closet arrives, and the main thinking is "I've got to let people know who I am!". The person divides the world into heterosexuals and homosexuals, and is immersed in gay and lesbian culture while minimizing contact with heterosexuals. Us-them quality to political/social viewpoint. The task is to deal with the incongruent views of heterosexuals.

Possible responses include: splits world into "gay" (good) and "straight" (bad)—experiences disclosure crises with heterosexuals as they are less willing to "blend in"—identify gay culture as sole source of support, acquiring all gay friends, business connections, social connections.

The possible needs can be: to receive support for exploring anger issues, to find support for exploring issues of heterosexism, to develop skills for coping with reactions and responses to disclosure to sexual identity, and to resist being defensive.

It was very helpfull to me so if u want check it out: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cass_Identity_Model

It is stage five. So kinda in retrospect it kinda puts a lot for me into perspective. I wanna thank the people who commented on my previous post.. I easily get irritated by empty advice, but what u guys wrote was of immeasurable value.

I am happy with my progress. I have spend six years (consciously) on the first four stages. And I think I'll be at stage five for quite some time still. I am thinking of starting a LGBT group at my uni. We don't have one. WTF WHY NOT?! But I'm very intimidated by the idea. I\ll have to think about it.

FML post fail

Okay so I am sorry. I just can't do this posting regularly thing. It is too demanding and I am way too busy. i am aiming to do 10 posts a month. That seems fair.

So a lot has happened in two weeks. OMG So much! I have been busy a burning hell at uni. Incredible workload. Insane. Inhumane. And just so u know I am not lazy by any means. i was like top 5 academic achiever during my high school career. So I kinda get the working thing. I don't get how the lazy people cope.

I must say I am rather proud of myself. After my meltdown last term I have been doing a lot better. Sleep more, eating more regularly, drinking less and getting in a lot of water and vitamins. Yay me!!!!

Mom was worried bout me and the workload so when I got home a week back she redid my entire room. New carpets, New bedding, accessories for the room. It looks way much nicer. She said she wanted a nice aura for me to do the work in. So sweet. Such a darling!

Yay! We are getting a new HD 3D projector for our living room. I AM SO FUCKING EXCITED I CAN LIKE FUCK A GINGER!!! Okay wait that is offensive. Lol. Sorry. >.<

Had a party on Friday night and kinda bonded with some of my team mates. Twas epic fun. I was a bit drunk. Me and my gay gf went to gay club afterward to kinda let loose. Was yum!

Then on Saturday I joined my parents at a seaside lodge and we slept over. Had a yummy dinner and all so it was all good and well. Forgot my phone there though - so now i have to drive 45minutes to got get the damn thing. Bleh!

On Sunday i went to a very nice Cuban styled restaurant. OMG the waiter was epically hot! He seems brazilian with shoulder length str8tened hair. We flirted a lot. I even left a wink on the till slip. Silly me! Haha!

Well that is it for now. Imma catch up on some blogs.

Peace and love

xXx

Me the Narcissist

Haha! Yeah what a shocker >.<

I saw Jack did this personality disorder test. Looked well fun, so I did it too:

Disorder Rating

Paranoid: Low
Schizoid: Low
Schizotypal: Low
Antisocial: Low
Borderline: Low
Histrionic: Moderate
Narcissistic: High
Avoidant: Low
Dependent: Low
Obsessive-Compulsive: Moderate

Click HERE for the link to the test. Why not do it and then paste results on ur blog. It is kinda interesting!

Peace and love!

xXx

I hate that smell!!!

Hospitals.

Gawd! i hate that smell! I hate it! I was in hospital sooo much as a little boy and had so much operations in my life that I cannot stand the smell of a hospital. I have associated it with me being pushed down by a few people while they are fighting to get the gas mask on my face to administer the anaesthetics. So every time I walk in there I get really anxious. It is terrible.

Nway the reason for my visit: My dad!

They came home like after midnight last night. When he undressed his legs were swollen bad and like inflamed really bad. It looked like burn wounds. So we rushed him to the ER. Sat there waiting for him for 5 hours before the doctors said thy are keeping him there for 48 hours. He will be okay though. I think.

While I was sitting there I has an weirdly interesting time To see people being rushed in. All the different and implausible realistic cases streaming in one after the other. One that really affected me was this case where a 19 year old boy went home at o1hoo and he hit a tree. His mother was sitting there poker face. Her other 16 year old son was killed 6months prior to this. Also in a car accident. So the older brother's heart stopped and they had to resuscitate him. I found out today that we woke up today and all he did was grab his mom's hand.

Fuck, it is sooo beautiful. Love. Man. What a miracle. l

Life is sooo short, eh?

Bleh! On a lighter note. I have been a very very stupid boy this weekend. I have not done enough work. So now I have immense pressure on me yet again. But, I had to take the day off to visit my dad, it is mother's day and one of my best gf's bday. So I mean I choose family and friends over work. there is no changing this.

I am doing a photo shoot tomorrow. I am quite excited, but fuck now I have a little zit on my mouth. Bleh! Photoshop for them! Hahah! Why thank you Murphy! Thu art a heartless bitch.

One of my friends that au paired for a year in USA is coming back on Tuesday. So will be nice to see her again.

A lot of the younger bloggers are about to start with exams. So I just wanna say: GOOD LUCK!!!!!!!

40 Days

I feel like I am standing at the top of a waterfall, fully acknowledging that I will be pushed off very soon.

In 40 days my first semester of second year will be done with. 40 Days. Fourty days. OMG! This is simply a farce. I am flabbergasted. I do not even think the amount of time available in 40 days is enough to equal the required time to earn the credits. I am, in all honesty, scared. Too much work. There is just too much work. I will have to take good care of myself if to avoid a breakdown. Lol. I know the others in my years will be freaking out. I shall have to keep it together. I know I will be able to do it. I just hope there is time left to enjoy the art and the process.

So in order to achieve this little goal i will have to take better care of myself. Thus I am committing to the following:

I follow some of these already, but I restricting it even further. I really hope I can stay with this as far as possible.

- No junk food
- No added sugar
- No added salt
- No caffeine drinks: including tee and coffee
- Only drink when going out and limit it to 5 drinks per night (*one glass of wine with dinner)
- No midnight snaking
- Go to the gyn at least once a week
- No smoking EVER (again)
- Get at least six hours sleep in each night
- Do not skip breakfast (or any other meal for that matter)
- Drink one squeezy bottle of water each day
- OMG please don't procrastinate - there is really no time lol >.<
- No fizzy drinks - OMG there goes beer - OMG I LOVE BEER! ;-(
- No white breads
- Make time to enjoy life!

Okay I think that will do it. Wayner will be proud of me hahaha! Now I just need to work in some man to man sex! ;-)

I have taken into account ur ideas for my costume for next weekends dress up. I shall see what is available to rent and report back. Maybe I'll even paste a pic for u of me in the outfit?!

Ah damn Magnus voted off of Idol. This is such a weak season. Simon should have left last year. It really was the best talent last year. Will never get to that limit again easily if indeed ever.

In other news. I don't know who of u read my previous post and responded, but I would like to thank you very much if u made the effort. Sam will really appreciate it!

Peace and love!

P.S. Welcome to Olive!

xXx

My first...

So I have been running this blog since the end of December. Usually I get about 30 hits if I am lucky. But today this has changed a bit. I have had over 100 hits already. This is quite puzzling to me. Obviously someone mentioned me and that person has got to be very popular loz!

So after playing Sherlock Holmes (aka Sam told me) I found that the person responsible for this surge of interest is Seth!

Seth u are freakin AWESOME! THANX MAN!

So come on, let me entertain u!

A while back I gave my followers carte blanche to suggest a topic for a post. I will start with one today.

My firsts

My first time getting my hair coloured: 13
The first time I was operated on: 3 Weeks old
My first crush: Age 7
My first time kissing a girl: 17
My first time driving a car: 18
My first time kissing a guy: 16
My first time being drunk: 12
My first time going away from home alone: 12
My first time...ya know: 16
My first time admitting my sexuality: 15
My first time eating sushi: 17 (MY FAV FOOD!!!)
First time watching porn: 12
My firt million: bleh fml still working on it.

Mkay, that seems like enough for now. If u wanna know more feel free to ask in the comments section and I will prolly oblige u with an answer.

On a different note, my uni is getting quite hectic. this term ends on April 1. By then I still have left to do:

21 Assignments
3 tests/exams
6 Presentations
2 Shoots

So imma be a busy boy this next month. But don\t fear I will still post very often. As u know by now I am quite addicted to u...

P.S. This is my second post for the day!

Peace and love,

xXx

Numb

I am so very much in emotional pain right now...

I've never spoken about this on here, but something just happened and I need to.

My best friend...

Oh my, where should I start...

He is the most amazing person to me in the entire world. One of only two people I would lay my life down for without thinking about it. (Mommy, if u were wondering!)

And yes duh I am in love with him.

We have been friends for over 12 years. He has such a profound influence on me. I kinda don't even know what my life would have been without him. Ludicrous.

We have gone through everything. Majour ups, downs. He is my life. I love him so fucking much.

Let us not to the marriage of true minds, eh?

I am such a fool.

I am so confused and hurt. I have been knowlingly in love with him for at least 6 years.

He knows we have had so much discussions on it.

But tonight with one sentece he crushed my world. I am feeling so numb.

This is it, Josh. The day u have been dreading for all those years. This is the night you have to let go...

...help...

Ups and Downs

Those of u that have followed me from the start would know that I am a very happy person. I enjoy life in general. And I enjoy MY life. I am very much in tune with myself and I also have an amazing support system of family and friends.

I really get a kick out of seeing the beautiful details in everything and appreciate everything around me. Sometimes it even makes me cry. Some people think I am living in a bubble. Sometime when down I think the same.

But ya know...fuck it. I am who I am and this is me.

If u are wondering what prompted this...well, I was involved in an incident yesterday where someone could have gotten hurt. Maybe even killed.

And maybe I have to carry part of the blame for it.

I dunno, it is all a blur now. I was so scared and freaked out. I had to go to the police station and get a case number and everything.

I don't really think it would be smart to divulge any details cause of the legal complications.

Point is I think I am in shock and maybe even a bit depressed today. I can't believe it happened. I didn't really get any sleep and I am feeling quite drained of energy.

I just really hope the person will be okay, and that I will get over it as well.

Some people I spoke to say I am being dramatic and bleh maybe I am, but I understand how precious life is and I do not want to be resposible for ending it.

Peace, love and tears,

xXx

P.S. This is the last day u get to vote on the poll

The End

This is it. Drum roll!!! The conclusion of the 100 random facts. As promised this will be about me fwiends!

Lol, wait this actually ended up mostly about me again...vain bastard. Bleh, at least I tried?

76. All my friends are pretty arty
77. I think 70% of my good friends are girls
78. I have a tendency to have crushes on my friends
79. My oldest friendship is 12 years and going strong
80. I am very popular with my friends' mothers
81. I don't really have superficial friendships
82. Hence, I know everything about everyone
83. We were very social creatures and not unpopular at school despite making up more then half of the top ten academics in my year group. We made turns as the top student of each turn lol
84. I have a tendency to have good-looking friends. This I noticed just now as I am making this post
85. Most of my friends don't eat tomatoes WTF!?
86. Ahhh one new years we missed 12 o'clock by 5min lolz so we celebrated new years with every time zone that followed for 6 hours >>> LEGEND
87. I sometimes take in "social outcasts" and make them my mini project. They usually end up too cool for me and dumps my friendship. Bleh, i did my good deed.
88. We are very liberal and people often think we are immoral, but time and time again we prove this wrong. We have high standards
89. I have a lot of bi/gay friends come to think of it
90. If we start a political party and get elected we will most likely end doing a very good job
91. In fact no matter what we do we will be very successful
92. I like to think I play/played an important part in my friends' lives
93. WE LIKE TO PARDY! FAW SHAW!
94. Wow i really do have a lot friends that are very close to me. I mean like somewhere in the area of ten best friends. Some people only have one. Or none. I thank whatever Gods may be...
95. We speak about everything in the open. Especially me. Some people see this a being crude. I think if u do not u are just freakin pretenscious. (yes there is a sense of occasion also)
96. 85% of us kept contact after school I think this is very kewl!
97. Sarcasm and irony is our main language
98. Most of us actually read Harry Potter and don't just watch the movies
99. Red balloons lolz
100. We LOVE music and sushi

That's a wrap!

Love and peace,

xXx

25 Down

I think it is time for me to start wrapping up on my 100 random facts posts. But geez I really am not that random it seams. I feel very vain doing this all about myself and so I thought I would give some info on my family...

51. My grandma is a psychopath really lol
52. My grandfather has been smoking for 61 years!!!
53. My mom and dad fight a lot, but wait there is more:
54. My mom and dad is so in love I can puke - holding hands, kissing: BLEH!
55. Two of my cousins stay with us. Basically siblings so to say.
56. My brother and I struggle to get along
57. My parents married when my mom was 19. She and my dad got together when she was 13 and he was 16. They are now 44 and 47. OMG!!!! LOL!!!!
58. My dad is mr fix-it. He is so practical!
59. My dad was a jock at school lol GO DAD >>> NOT!
60. Shame my parents do everything to support their children
61. Apparently I look like my mom's side of the family, but has my dad's eyes
62. We eat as a family at a table most days of the week
63. Our extended family gets together every Wednesday for a braai
64. My family was good to people of other races during Apartheid >>> PROUD!!!
65. My dad has had two heart attacks and heart surgery before
66. Both my brother and dad has Glaucoma, but no side-effects
67. Mommy is self-employed and earns a tad more then daddy >>> EPIC!!! U GO GIRL!!!
68. When younger, a car fell on my dad's face while he was working under it
69. My family can drink well loads. It is just crazy every Wednesday lolz
70. One lady in my extended family was killed in a farm attack last year
71. The oldest person in my extended family is almost 77 years old
72. The youngest person in my extended family is 4 months old
73. Everyone in my family is very strong willed and has a strong personality. It is like a war zone when we fight. Lolz how dysfunctional, yet charming
74. We eat a lot of chicken - Lol I love chicken!
75. We always have music playing EVERYWHERE!!!

Think my next one will be of my friends!

Love and peace

xXx

Why I do things the way I do

So bloggers!

Since last I posted a lot has happened.

{You may find this post to be boring and vain}

Firstly, my pc's power supply screwed up, so that explains my lack of posting. But, not to fear, I had it checked out and all is working 100% now.

Also, my middle finger on my right hand is a few milimtres shorter. Thanks to the razor blade of my shaver and my stupidity. Don't even ask!

I had an amazing two days of binge drinking at a festival. I was suppose to stay until Sunday, but I just had enough of alcohol. But it was good times and I had a blast with my friends.

I am in such a weird mood tonight. I am just chilling in my room, drinking some wine, burning incence and listening to Edith Piaf.

I though I could share with u something that I found to be very interesting. I had in the past taken personality indicator tests before I went to university. I unfortunatly lost the results. So I decided to redo it online. I did the Myers Briggs test and my results are as follow:

Out of the possible 16 outcomes I was placed in the personality code category:

ENFP

E = Extroversion (Opposed to Introversion)
N = Intuition (Opposed to Sensing)
F = Feeling (Opposed to Thinking)
p = Perceiving (Opposed to Judging)

Also known as CLARIFIER

Warmly enthusiastic, high-spirited, ingenious, imaginative. Able to do almost anything that interests them. Quick with a solution to any difficulty and ready to help anyone with a problem. Often rely on their ability to improvise instead of preparing in advance. Can usually find compelling reasons for whatever they want. Gifted observers and enterprisers. Charming and likable. Not interested in routine living patterns.

The Idealist's core needs are for the meaning and significance that come from having a sense of purpose and working toward some greater good. Idealists need to have a sense of unique identity. They value unity, self-actualization, and authenticity. Idealists prefer cooperative interactions with a focus on ethics and morality. Idealists tend to be gifted at unifying diverse peoples and helping individuals realize their potential. They build bridges between people through empathy and clarification of deeper issues.

I then researched it further and found that I am a Idealist Clarifier.
I then fall under the subcategory Discoverer Advocate

Inspiring and facilitating others. Exploring perceptions. Talent for seeing what’s not being said and voicing unspoken meanings. Seek to have ideal relationships. Recognize happiness. Living out stories. Want to authentically live with themselves. Respond to insights in the creative process. Finding the magical situation. Restless hunger for discovering their direction.

So, now you know.

I just read Lunario's post he made after his hiatus. It got me thinking about blogworld. I posted the following question to him. Something to think about:

Would one rather have fake friends in a real world or real friends in a fake world?

Peace, and love!

xXx

More of me

So, the second installment of "me":

26-50

26. I am a huge procrastinator
27. I have a mild case of Internet addiction
28. I wish I could speak more languages then I do
29. I never have enough hangers in my closet
30. I usually skip breakfast - yeah I know it is really stupid
31. I drive a really nice car, which I don't deserve
32. I love olives and cheese
33. I'm not a big pizza fan
34. I hate film remakes
35. I love having a many versions/covers of a song possible - especially Somewhere over the rainbow and Amazing Grace
36. I agree with Simon 90% of the time
37. Apparently I always make awkward silences worse?
38. I have no sense of direction
39. I cannot draw very well - bummer I love to draw
40. I was once resuscitated after 5min of like "darkness"
41. I was actually really dropped on my head as a baby
42. I have been operated on 22 times in my life
43. Strangers always come to me and ask for a lighter. I don't smoke as a rule.
44. Someone once asked my mom if I was blind? I was in the same room as them. (lolz)
45. I am terribly impractical
46. I can justify almost everything I do
47. I shave my armpits and will do the same with my chest when I ever grow chest hair. THANK GOD I don't. Weird for a almost 20-year-old dude I think. Bleh, I'm not complaining.
48. I love to drink milk before I go to bed. 2% ONLY
49. I have never watched an episode of Extreme Makeover Home Edition without crying
50. I sometimes crave peanut butter

Peace and love,

xXx

Overexposed

This is me. Please, do not fuck with me.

I am in a very peculiar mood. Have u ever felt as if u know exactly who u are? Tonight I can carry the world upon my shoulders...

I know why I am here.

I am here to help people. Not only poor people with love and money. I have the need to satisfy my thurst in arts.

I want to promote art in my country. Especially in my own culture.
If u have following me 4 me for a while, u will knoe that this is a majour step for me.

It feels more then right, it feels like my destiny.

That I have chosen.

I am happy...
I am.

I do not wish to leave SA. I want to make people proud of their heritage.
Something I never had. I want them to know.

And I wil fight for LGBT. Eventhough we have all the rights. It is not enough.

I cannot promise any dates. But in this writing I do commit.

This is it.

Peace and love.

Believe me...

xXx

ME ME ME ME ME

PAM PAM PAM

It has been decided by me, myself and I that I shall post 100 random facts bout myself 4 ur entertainment! How kewl right? I know, thank me later! This shall be done in 4 installments of 25. (Gawh, sounds so formal, right?!)

Here's ya first taste:

1. I sometimes wear a ring on my ring finger.
2. I don't own a hoodie - SHOCKER!
3. I have Glaucoma
4. I loose flash disks and lip ice by the droves
5. I did exceptionally well in grade 12 - despite beiNg absent for over 40 days
6. I'm out to about 25 people and have not had one bad reaction - WHAT?!
7. I own a lava lamp ahahah - GAY
8. I'm a chick magnet. What a waste lol! (Wait..I'm bi >_< )
9. I change clothes three times a day normally
10. I have an intense passion for traveling - O wait I can't afford it
11. I watch all sport world cups and beauty pageants
12. I have seen Celine Dion live in concert...twice HAHA
13. I am in love with wine
13. MUSIC = LIFE (very very WIDE music taste)
14. My fav comedy is Knocked up.
15. Confession: I am in love with Joe Jonas... *blushes*
16. I'm allergic to almost ALL animals
17. I don't like 'gasp' chocolate. (Well oke dark chocolate is good.)
18. Apparently I always smell nice.
19. I wear a watch that doesn't work - FASHION ACCESSORY!!!!
20. Team Conan!!!
21. Meryl Streep was hot in the Devil Wears Prada
22. I like older women and younger boys (legal)
23. My fav season is Winter
24. I like walking bare foot and reading, bur never really do it
25. I always type "liek" in stead of "like' - IDIOT TYPO

Peace and love,

xXx

P.FUCKING.S. I HAVE TICKETS TO AVATAR AT LONG LAST!!!