100

I cant really believe I made it.

100 Posts...

Wow! I never thought I would be able to stick around for so long. With all the other blogs closing down i thought I would be gone by now too. But NAH! This is such a great great escape for me. Although I have started posting less I still feel the need to blog every now and then. So I don't think I'll be gone too soon.

So geez. The blog turned one year old the other day. It feels longer ago that I started this. So much has happened. I CAME OUT! And I kid u not when saying that creating this blog lead to the best experience of my life - without a doubt. I met someone via my blog. We met up. We fell In love. He is the love of my life...unfortunately life happened and we aren't together anymore.

Distance.

Meh. I love airports. I hate airports. I'll never forget that day I had to say goodbye to you... Some days it keeps playing over and over in my mind, I tried to be so strong, cause u were gonna be alone after u left. But as u vanished behind the corner I had a complete breakdown. People were staring at me like I was demented. I struggled to walk to the car and kinda hyperventilated for a few minutes. I remember vividly looking into the face of an older woman and seeing her eyes tear up. I'll never forget her face.

I still remember the last kiss. The tears streaming between us. I still remember the last time I touched ur hand and the last look we gave each other. I remember not being able to stop thinking about u and the smile u put on my face when u called me from the plane. Trying to fight the tears as much as u could... I love u so much.

Will I ever see you again?

It is now six months later and yut I only keep loving u more. And I know that u say I should move on. But I can't help how I feel. U have been the best thing in my life. And I would give anything to hold u again. U have been one of the best friends in my life and I will never ever ever forget what u did for me. U helped me so much as a person. U helped me grow to such an extent that I cannot describe it.

You are so beautiful to me.

I love you...

Urm there has also been a lot of other people that has played such a big role in my life. U guys mean so much to me. U are there for me when no one else is around and I love u guys for that. I learn so much from u and I'm sure I would have been way worse off if I did not have the privilege to know u all. Im gonna mention a fe people that come to my mind atm. Please do not feel offended if I leave u out cause I am in a bit of a state, so my mind isn't functioning that well. Don't worry It is happy tears >.<


Tyler, I know we aren't close or anything. But I have told u before that u were the first blog that I ever read. U were my inspiration for starting to bthis journey. Thank you so much for ur contribution.

Charlie. U vanished from the face of the earth. But I still just want to thank u for all the fun times we had. Ur such a nice guy and I hope that ur doing okay?

Tim. I know we aren't on the best of terms atm, but u have meant so so so so much too me over the past year. I hope that we will soon rekindle the friendship that means so much to I think both of us. Thank u for always being there any listening to my stupidity.

Wayner. What would we do without u? Ur the go to guy of the gay blog world. Sometimes I feel my posts are too silly to publish. But then knowing that u will leave a comment makes me do it anyway. Ur support and advice goes a long way.

AJ. Although u have left blogging world, u haven't left my heart. I love our chats and I love ur sense of humour. As u know music is my life and I love the fact that u always love to tell me that I have no taste in music. AJ FTW lolz! I miss u! Get ur butt on MSN more often. Hope all is well.

Sammy. I honestly hope I helped with the confusion u had ;-p U have been the greatest friend and have stood by me through thick and thin. U are such an inspiration to me. I want to be better. And I have u to thank for that.

NIc. U are one of the nicest guys i've met through this journey. U are so supportive and kind and fun! And u come with ur alterego! (BTW BEST LINK EVER ;-p). Ur relationship with Domi makes me filled with jealousy and hope at the same time. U make it all seem fine. U make it seems possible for all of us. I hope u stay strong!

Oliver. Oh Cupcake. What else can I say other then Waka Waka? Pretty much sums up our thang. U have to be the sweetest little thing. I hope that ur inevitable coming out will go as planned and that u snatch a hot French boy with v-neck t-shirts ;-p. And ffs! Go get a pink shirt! XD I am thinking of u and ur fam and I hope that ur dads operation will go without a hitch. And I hope ur mom learns how to close the door behind her haha! Mwah!


Also, then just a last shout out to all of my Twitter buddies. U guys make life so much more entertaining! Thanx for keeping me company in the wee hours of the morning!


I truly love being a part of this community. It is proof that it actually does get better.


As always

PEACE AND LOVE

xXx


P.S This is my actual 100th post and not the 99th seeing as I deleted a previous post. Just saying ;-p

REPOST

I just read the follwoing post and I felt I wanted to post the link to it here on my blog. I think every gay guy can relate to this. I think we all went through this at some point...

http://gophunkyourself.blogspot.com/2010/12/on-sexuality.html

GOFUNKURSELF FTW!

Peace and love

xXx

MERRY XMAS

So I missed my one year bloggyversary! Well I did know about it. But I didn't really feel like posting anything. I'll compile some sort of something as a treat for u guys later on when I am in the mood ^_^

So it is the 24th of December. I don't really want any gift at all. Like I got enough from my family and friends throughout the year. It would be such a shame to spend more on me. And I didn't get anyone gift from myself only. I like clubbed with my parents to get people better gifts rather than two crappy gifts.

So we are heading to my brother's gf's family for Old Xmas Eve dinner. And then tomorrow a lot of guest will be hosted at our house. It is usually fun and I am looking forward to it. Yeah. Although I do not consider myself religious I do appreciate the fact that Xmas brings people together. So that it is all good and well.

On another note. I made a new gay friend. We are planning to go catch a movie early next year. He is very cute, but I don't think he wud become more than a hookup in the future - if it even goes that far. Nway, it is always nice to have someone who understands u.

I am sorry for not posting more often. This is more said to myself. I really do enjoy blogging. Thing is I don't want to bore with tedious posts. Much like this one. Nway I wanted to post. Cause I miss u guys. So here is a kewl video for ur enjoyment!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G0LtUX_6IXY

Hope u all have a great time with family and or friends.

Speak soon

Peace and love

xXx

Waiting for Godot

So Im up still. It is 5:10am as i am typing this sentence.

Slept like three hours and then I woke up. I didn't manage to get that much sleep in this year cause of work so I think my body has adjusted to shorter sleeping patterns. Meh, I'll prolly take a nice afternoon nap later. >.<

So my bother is back. He will be here for like three months. But I think it should be fine. He is a lot better than in the future. He even liked some of my projects that I did this year. Didn't think that this day would ever come lol!

I'm working on some side project that are keeping me kinda busy, but I am learning a lot so Imma do it with a smile. I have started working hard on my work for next year. The other people are all chilling over the holiday - and I will to, but in moderation. I really want to be prepared when I walk in next year. There will be no time, so I'd rather get some shit out of the way.

So it is almost Xmas. I haven't been in the Xmas mood for the past two years. I hope it changes this time. I am not religious anymore, but I just love Xmas cause it is a time of community and love. And I think that is pretty amazing!

I have decided that I will prolly do a honours degree as to complete a undergrad degree. But I really want to go to two or if I can three European countries first. I will have a 9 week break so that would be a fine time to do that, I need to. As an artist I need to experience life. And I have IRL friends in two of the countries that I want to see. Especially one person in specific. Imma try my best to make it work. Imma speak to my mother tomorrow. She promised me if I have my first degree she will fund a trip for me. Lol, I'll have to try and make some money myself, but she will have to be my primary benefactor. I have never been granted the opportunity, nay privilege, to travel and it is kinda a defining life goals.

The prospect of getting a stamp in my passport exceeds most forms of excitement I have ever felt.

Here is to making dreams reality.

Peace and love

xXx

P.S. Almost to post 100!!!